The Davinci Code

What I really want to do now is just to put to words a few of my thoughts and feelings based solely on what I have been pondering lately. I am the analytical type and am always analyzing myself and everything else. I like to think of myself as a philosopher and, in some ways, I am. I am always analyzing and contemplating, sometimes running a single phrase or word through my head a thousand times before I finally move on and even moving back to that topic eventually. My brain constantly moves at an increased rate, but my expression of those thoughts is so behind that I often appear slow minded or dim witted. I hate to be thought of this way, and only wish to portray in words my thoughts, because this way of expression puts no limits on me of time or physical skill. It does, however, require me to acquire skills in literary expression.

I will move on. I have recently read almost all of Anne Rice's vampire books, and am now just finishing up Blood and Gold. I like her views on things, and also find my own views in what I read in her work. I do not see her vampires as monsters but, on the contrary, I see them to be more human than they could ever imagine. Are the lions who hunt in the jungle monsters? Do we give them a different distinction because they do what is instinct and not what they want to do? All life exists in life and in destruction, and no life can exist without causing both of these. In being born, a baby takes from the mother the sources of his or her creation, and in life we kill God's flowers and insects merely because they are in our way or we find them bothersome. Is it thought to kill these plants, or is it simply done in passing? Just because they do not have minds such as the human mind, are we that much better a creation of God's? I think we are just too big headed, really. We think we are God's greatest creation, but is this what he thinks? We expect God to understand our imperfections, and to love us as we are because that is what he says does. Yet, we expect him to be perfect in all ways and all things, and often don’t even try to understand why he lets things happen. We don’t give him the same respect we expect from him! Why? Because we are inherently hypocrites, and we all know it. We expect one thing, but don’t want to return that thing. We want respect and honesty, but we lie constantly. God has a right, being who he is, to be imperfect. He has the RIGHT just as we have the RIGHT to be imperfect as well.

Please read on, I only wish to get out my views and am not trying to throw insults at anyone.

I made the mistake of telling my mother that I wanted to see The DavinciCode, and that I want to see what the views in the story are and discern my own feelings on it. She promptly said she had failed in raising me, that I had no faith in God whatsoever (this is the woman who taught me NEVER to judge another’s relationship with God), and then proceeded to stop talking to me altogether. She is the type who would have her opinions, and if your view differed from her’s, then you were merely arguing for the sake of it and she would listen to nothing you had to say. Very much a biased and hypocritical woman, though I still love her. I don’t always love how she is, but I love that she is generous and often tries to be the loving mother. Christianity confuses me at times. I am a Christian, but I do not go to churches because I don’t feel “right” in them. I feel out of place, and I don’t believe God wants me in any of the churches I have been to thus far. I am open minded on religious views of others, and I don’t believe in forcing religious history and views down a person’s. If you try to force them, and don’t even try to listen to them then you are merely speaking on deaf ears. You can only support and love them as God has said (Love thy neighbor…), give them your thoughts and religion, and help them to find their own way to God. I had a friend who converted to Islam, married a man she has never seen, and now lives in India. Now look, I supported her conversion only because I knew that it was what she wanted and that I would only be able to let her know my view and love of God, and hope that this and God would lead her to a path that was right. In the marriage, I was against it from the start. I began to realize, from her saying how she felt about her parent’s rejection, that she would not listen to anyone and that telling her I was against it only fueled her on. I decided to give her my support as a friend in that I would be there for her now and forever, if ever she needed me. I would not judge or and my view would never lessen of her for this act. I let her know this so that if trouble befell her, she would never fear to come to me for help. I left the rest in God’s hands. I couldn’t push my views on her, because I was only pushing her farther away! I have seen many a Christian scream folly on the removal of religion from the government, and now I am aghast to see them seek the same thing done to a movie that is pure fiction! They want it removed and not to be played, and I see this as hypocritical and biased. The writer has said the story is fiction, though I know that some parts are true and accepted by many branches of Christianity and that it is the Catholics, mainly, who are making the uproar. How many movies have made fun of the Wiccan and Pagan religions? Have they complained in such a way? Are Christians so unsure of their faith that a movie or book of this type would cause them to throw an uproar? God knows who has the strong faith, and who would waiver in uncertain circumstances. I do not fear this movie, and want to see it merely to understand the views presented. I do not want to blindly give out opinions and beliefs, never once considering how the other side sees and understands. I want to know all religion, and let God show me the truths through heart and soul.

I do not mean to scorn or dissociate from human society, but I am always the analyzer or the watcher, as I like to call myself, and so I view people and things around me and my interactions with them as one from the outside who has an unobstructed point of view. I try not to judge and only wish, through these words, to express my thoughts and views, and hope for you to take these thoughts into your own and either to dispel them or intertwine them at your own discretion. I really just hope that someone, somewhere will read my views as I read others and won’t judge based solely on one thought or opinion, and will give me the same chance for analyzation as I would surely give them. Now I am losing my ability to explain myself. I only ask that you not judge me, and just think on what I’ve said. I don’t care if you agree or if you hold me in disdain, but give it some thought and time.

Been a while

Well I met a guy named Adam, he's cool. We're not dating, just hanging out. I learned out to troubleshoot a PC, then I fixed my mom's computer. Let me tell you about this one. So for a year this computer (HP Pavilion 789) says "imminent hard drive failure," so we replace the hard drive because it froze incessantly. Then the HD wouldn't read the restore disk! So after about 3 months we got ahold of an XP disc and it finally read that, and the freezing wasn't as constant but it was still there! So I assumed her 128 MB of RAM wasn't enough to run XP, and I replaced it. The chip was the wrong speed, so off we sent for another one. Find out her memory is too old, so we had to order direct from the manufacturer. Replaced it, computer read it, still froze. Now I was annoyed. I opened the computer, determined to look at the processor (Athlon T-Bird) and it burned my hand! I turned the computer on, and the processor fan didn't go on. So I replaced that, and then the processor wasn't being read in the P.O.S.T (Power On Self Test, aka no keyboard lights and tower doesn't go on). So I opened it and resat the processor, and it worked! Now the computer runs great, and it doesn't freeze.

Results:
80 GB Hard drive: $80 (yes I got jipped)
256 MB RAM: $60, directly from crucial.com
CPU Fan: $10
Frustration: !#$%^

Yea...that was fun! My computer got a memory upgrade too, though I think it needs another one >.< Well that's it for now, oh and I work for USPS now =D

Battousai - Slow mo is KICK ASS XD I YOO W00T ^.^ says:
I use to have 2 lovebirds..well...my aunt but she was gunna give them away so I took them and taught them all these tricks

Battousai - Slow mo is KICK ASS XD I YOO W00T ^.^ says:
before they got old...and cruel...and me who they loved the most they bit...a lot. So, I had to get rid of them v.v

Oh yea, go see Einstein! He's the smartest African Grey ever! ^^

http://media.animal.discovery.com/fansites/petstar/videogallery/season3/ep309_winner.html

Now, I go and read for Am Lit o.0

Me: jen write new poem o.o
Friend: didnt know u write poems o.O
Me: yes...
Me:

EXPLANATION:

1. to kill someone, wouldn't be the same sin as the one i killed, but ten times as much, would i end my own life
2. life's a precious gift, but we don't know it, for in life, we burn in sin
3. the greatest wrong, is to kill in revenge, retribution is not received, but instead we walk the worst sinful path

Me: o.o'
Me: i write many poems

Me: First poem I ever wrote o.0 I was young. Just at the lovely grammar XD I just leave it for the sake of it
Friend lol
Me: I used your instead of you're a lot :P
Me:

Me: 2nd newest poem o.0 longest too
Friend: Lol
Me: this is pre edit, just so u know x_x
Friend: lol
Me: I write it from mind first, then edit for better wording
Friend: I dun edit my poems unless I find any really dumb mistakes like spelling
Me: I don't, unless I write them real quick, then I edit them to make the wording more....intellectual o.0 I like to stump people

© Jen L.

Me: like dis one. A teacher said I was suicidal and morbid
Friend: rofl
Me: just cause of the phrase "let death run amuck" I said without faith!
Friend:lol
Me: if people don't believe in SOMETHING, themselves or w/e, then what's the worth of life?
Friend: So wutcha think of the poems I showed ya? *pokepoke*
Me: u should rap em n get rich :P
Friend: lol, nah. not meant to be rapped and 'sides, the rhythm if u try to rap it is awkward
Me: hmm I would try and go through to edit for punctuation, so you can add emphasis and show how phrases and words should be understood or spoken, cause the reader doesn't always know how u want it to be read, so you have to lead em :D... o.o though I'm not too great at dat. Is why I'm about dying in my am lit after 1865 class
Friend: *rolls his eyes* I dun care bout how they read it, it's the point I wanna get across
Me: cause stupid me had CRAPPY english 1302 with CHEN and she no teach us how to read poems! AND I didn't have senior english in HS, cause I was in COLLEGE(Dual Credit HS), so like HELL I know how many syllables are in a poetic food and what iambic is and $#!%
Me: >.<
Me: I'm outta fries o.0
Me: and aw crap I left the meat in the freezer and had to spend an hour with the dogs so they could get their nails cut and Willy's stitches out and Tilly just HAD to sit in my lap while I was driving and...AARGH!!
Me: o.0 i'm done now

Ok, lets see. So I woke up at 5 am, got to my class by 6:50 and had to wait outside in cold. You think they'd frickin learn to unlock the damned door for the 7 A.M. class! Then some damn person comes and says "no class today." !@#$% My other class after that is a MW, so i had 4 frickin free hours. I'm sick, cold, and had to drive back home ¬-¬ I wasted 16 miles of gas there, 16 back. I don't have that kinda money! I have - $3000!! I owe money! That's not even counting loans for school O.o

THEN, had music appreciation at 11:15. That was ok, cept I about fell asleep. After that it took me 20 min to get out of parking lot! Damn Fridays... So, I'm waiting like 5-10 min behind some girl, waiting to move, someone is to my left and someone behind me, and this other idiot girl comes barreling out of her parking spot and stops directly in front of me so I can't move! Stupid biatch, so then she's in line ahead of me when I'd been waiting and she hadn't!!! When I FINALLY get out, I head out to the Humane Society, only to find out it's a full-time position. >.< urgh, I have class 3 days a week... I apply for job anyway, which I probably won't get. I need money x_x Why is it I can't get a job without a car, then when I get it they won't hire me cause I don't have enough prior work experience, which I couldn't get without a car and I couldn't get a car without money from working!!!!!!! >.< !@!%#@!#%$!#^$@#Q^$$#@^%!#% Where's the logic!?

Then I head back to got o my lit class, Am Lit after 1865. Oddly, only one girl and I are there. O.o at 1:30, when the class is at 1:25. Guess wut I find out at 1:35... Girl gets up and says "I just remembered, this is a MW class, I feel so stupid." I'm like mouth agape, going YOU feel stupid??? I didn't even know!! >.< Shows how observant I am of my schedule...urgh and I fine tooth comb it too. I make it out by days and times, then map it on the campus map >.<

So anyway, sick Jen is home now and tired. I held lots of kitties at the Humane Society, and Sarah sniffed me to death when I got home O.o hehe...*wants sleep*